Choosing the exact wording for your wedding stationery can be a minefield. Stationery expert Lynda Loves shares her advice when it comes to confirming your big day details.
Traditionally, invites are phrased as if they have been sent from the bride's parents, but it can become complicated if they are divorced, remarried or widowed, or, if you as a couple, are paying for the wedding yourselves.
Once you've chosen your wedding venue and made a decision on the style and theme of your big day, you can then make choices on your wording.
There are many online examples to help you through this decision process, from the traditional, religious church wedding hosted by the parents, or the laid back beach affair hosted by the couple themselves.
Are you struggling to find the right words? Here are some top tips below:
- ‘The honour of your presence’ or ‘the pleasure of your company’ is the normal choice of wording
- The bride’s name should appear before the groom’s
- List the time, date and venue (in that order)
- Generally, names, times and places are placed on separate lines.
- Wording can be adapted to suit different circumstances due to death, divorce and re‐marriage on the bride’s side. For example:
If either parent is widowed: Mr William Bond (or) Mrs Sarah Bond, requests the pleasure…
If parents are divorced: Mr William Bond and Mrs Sarah Bond request the pleasure…
If parents are divorced, mother remarried etc: Mr William Bond and Mrs Sarah Matthews request…
If you are hosting the wedding yourselves but would still like to follow traditional wording you could use something like the example below:
Miss Charlotte Davies
Mr David Brown
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
Some couples prefer a less formal approach and can word it in a more laid-back style, inviting guests to celebrate their marriage as one big party.
Charlotte and David
invite you to join them to share and celebrate
their marriage in the summer sun
Finally, if you’re hosting your wedding along with input from parents you can use something along the lines of:
Together with their parents
Charlotte and David
Invite you to share with them in celebrating their big day
Inviting children...or not
This can be a difficult decision for the wedding couple as it can so easily offend guests. The cost of venues, catering and child-minding facilities are costly and most couples will be planning their wedding and sticking to budget as best as they can. Inviting children to weddings can easily increase the cost of your catering and if numbers are tight for your venue it can also rack up the total cost of your payment.
Include a tactful note on your invite like this:
As much as we would like to invite all the children of our friends, it is only possible to accommodate the children of close family
We are sorry we are unable to accommodate children
Or for something a little more lighthearted:
In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult-only occasion. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off!
If you are inviting children, let parents know if you have made special childcare arrangements:
We have arranged child‐minding facilities for the duration of the service and/or reception.
All of this can be written on your information cards, which provide guests with everything they need on your wedding day (how to get there, accommodation etc)
The gift list
These days, the majority of couples getting married are already living together and have most of the household items they need. It can still be a lovely idea to have a set gift list/vouchers from a high street retailer to update your household items or to have as a nice reminder of your wedding day from your guests.
However, another popular option is couples asking for money or for guests to put money towards their chosen destination for the honeymoon. You could offer this as a choice for your guests.
While it's enough of a present that you're coming to our big day, if you'd like to give us a gift we have a gift list at……
Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but if you do wish to buy us something, a contribution towards our dream honeymoon would be appreciated.
Some couples like to word it in a simple, amusing poem that is personal to them
However you decide to word your invites just remember it is your day and you're inviting your friends and family to celebrate with you. Don't stress about what others think!