Your planning threads

What Am I Doing?!

Reply

141 to 160 of 218 posts

Bridezilla

Weekend of Wins

So on Friday I got my hands on 4 photo frames from John Lewis, they have a lovely thick frame and will be ideal for signs dotted around, and the best part is, they were totally free! I had spent the day sorting the loft at work and they were about to throw these out! We're going to paint the frames metallic :) Dead pleased! 

I have been keeping an eye on things i want to pick up for the wedding ob Ebay, and being a HUGE shoe lover, I really wanted a pair of the Vivienne Westwood X Melissa heels. Ill be honest, i might not wear them for the wedding itself, but i will wear them 100% for the hen do, and i might change into them for the evening. I always knew i was going to have something a little different for shoes, and i managed to get them for £20 inc postage instead of £90. M hates them, but he is very much "as long as youre happy" so its a win for me! 

We also decided seeing as we had the issue of people not actually spreading the wedding date through the family like we had hoped, we knocked up a design on Canva in 20 mins and will have them all made to send out with Christmas cards to save on postage! It was way easier than i expected, and i'm very pleased with the outcome! I'll pop pictures up when we start making them. 

Wedding addict

CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):

Weekend of Wins

I have been keeping an eye on things i want to pick up for the wedding ob Ebay, and being a HUGE shoe lover, I really wanted a pair of the Vivienne Westwood X Melissa heels. Ill be honest, i might not wear them for the wedding itself, but i will wear them 100% for the hen do, and i might change into them for the evening. I always knew i was going to have something a little different for shoes, and i managed to get them for £20 inc postage instead of £90. M hates them, but he is very much "as long as youre happy" so its a win for me! 

 

 

Your shoes = wow! What a statement piece!

Bridezilla

Planning a Wedding When Your Family Don't Get On Is Hard. 

Especially when certain members of the family don't know that another member dislikes them. 

I have a dress session booked for this weekend with my sister (MOH). Bit nervous, feels a bit pointless but whatever, its a trip out. Mentioned it to my mum, safe in the knowledge shes on a boat god knows where, and apparently shes actually back for Saturday, and now wants to come along.

Great

Except it isn't. My Mum and sister do not really get on. My sister flaps, and my mum has a very blunt way of doing things, and is very to the point. This means Sister will spend all day not saying anything and being an anxious mess, and Mum will get pissed off because she isn't giving an input. 

I love them both, God i really do, but i have always been the go-between for them and its really stressful. There was a huge family falling out a few months back too, and it was with my sister and mum and since then its just been really awkward. 

At least now i'm less nervous about not fitting the dresses, and more nervous about WW3 breaking out in the middle of Woburn. 

I've actually emailed the shop to warn them, this is how little I trust things to go well. Probably not an ideal trip to make when trying to go sober for October! 

I just feel shite about the whole thing and actually feel like i've put my sister out by allowing my mum to come, and now she isn't looking forward to it. I literally cant win. 

 

 

Bridezilla

Ah sorry to hear - families are hard!

If your sister will find it really uncomfortable, could you ask her if she would actually prefer to go a different day and just go with your Mum? Tell her you thought it would be nice to have Mum and Daughter time and then plan something separately with your sister? If that would make things worse then just hope that they’ll both be too interested in the occasion and you looking lovely in dresses to cause issue. Maybe you could give them both things to focus on to keep them busy whilst you’re in fitting rooms so there is no awkward silences or chance for things to kick off - get your sister to be picking out another dress or tell your Mum to take a look at veils etc. I’m all for using distraction as a technique! Good luck. Sober for October is admirable but I definitely think you’re allowed a day off in this situation if the need arises!! 

Wedding addict

I think most dress shops are fairly used to handling this sort of thing...

If you have a chance to phone them again (or can get there early) to express your concerns, hopefully they can be proactive in asking for your sister's opinion, and soften anything too blunt that your mum says etc. Does being out in public make them less likely to clash?!

You could also use your own nerves as an excuse, and start the appointment by sitting them down and saying that you are really nervous about trying on dresses (even if you aren't!) and that you value both of their input _equally_, and want to hear both of their thoughts on everything you try on, but could they please think carefully before they say anything because YOU are so nervous.

The traditional technique if they want to criticize something, is that they have to sandwich it between two good things! Classic "praise sandwich" feedback technique that works in ALL situations - good thing, area for improvement, another good thing.

If you can get the shop girls on board, and stick to this kind of thing, hopefully it'll give your sister a kind of framework for her feedback (which sounds like it might be helpful if she has a tendency to flap?) while also making sure your mum doesn't over power/over-blunt things!

Big good luck...!

(I'm ordering my dress on Saturday, and having my parents, sister and niece along so they can see it before I hand over the money. My sister helped me choose it, but I'm a bit worried my mum won't approve, or that the 11-year old niece will say something truthful but utterly tactless. I *hope* I'm worrying about nothing, but... If it starts to go wrong, I'll be invoking the praise sandwich tactic!)

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/mrs-lytton-2019/485995.html

Bridezilla

Thanks everyone!! I really appreciate the input, and i'm definitely going to try and distract them and ham up how nervous i am, brilliant ideas i hadn't even thought of! I'm hoping they'll both get into it once were there, and with any luck my mum will just go into the "special moment" kind of feeling and not be too crass. I'm going to go to a few other shops with just my sister in the new year so hopefully she will just be looking forward to that. 

I love the Praise Sandwich! I think i'm just going to use that all the time!! 

Good luck on Saturday CS2TC!! I hope it all goes well, and im sure they'll see how much you love it and feel the same :) 

Bridezilla

To distract myself from family dramas, and because i've been meaning to do it for SO LONG i have put together some mood boards. I'm a hugely visual person, but seeing as 90% of my time posting on here is at work (oops) i cant quite get away with it. 

Colours: 


Ceremony:


They're really badly done on paint but at least it narrows down my vibe for it. I use Pinterest, but i find it overwhelming and i struggle to really cut things down so this was a great way for me to really narrow down what i like most. 

Bridezilla

Love your mood board, your colour palette is really nice and you can tell from those pictures it will come together really well.

Wedding addict

Love the mood boards!

I was only converted away from being a Paint luddite by the (free) PhotoGrid app. Game changing. Even my mum's on board and uses it for little collages of holiday photos.

(I also can't cope with Pinterest...)

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/mrs-lytton-2019/485995.html

Bridezilla

cs2thecox wrote (see post):

Love the mood boards!

I was only converted away from being a Paint luddite by the (free) PhotoGrid app. Game changing. Even my mum's on board and uses it for little collages of holiday photos.

(I also can't cope with Pinterest...)

Oh fab ill check it out thank you! For a Millennial i really do not get on with technology!  

Bridezilla

Dress Shopping!

So i survived shopping with my mum and sister! Wahooo 

It was actually a lovely day, and they got on perfectly well and no dramas! Maybe i need to give them a bit more credit in future.

I'm actually really gutted Woburn Bridal is closing down, they're really lovely there and SO accommodating. I explained that i had a dress that just didn't feel "me" and something wasn't sitting right with it, and i must've picked out about 9 dresses, and she picked out a few as well. I didn't get pictures of all of them, but please enjoy the hilarity that some of the below offers. 

For what its worth, i'm a UK12 and only realised enroute that i might not fit into some of them. Turns out they get pretty determined to shoehorn you in! I felt like Keira Knightly in Pirates of the Caribbean where she cant breathe and passes out 

Also - DON'T do what i did, and pick dresses willy nilly not looking at the price tag. THIS IS DANGEROUS and you will regret it. the store didn't ask, and so i forgot, because i didn't have any expectations to find something there.Lethal

You can see on my face in this one what a NO it is. Separates do nothing for me apart from making me look like sausage meat. 

This one was very pretty, and floaty like i wanted to try, but it reminded me too much of a friends dress so went right out the running. 

This dress I LOVED! On the skirt it had a pattern of florals and was just to die for, but sadly the pictures didn't pick it up well at all. This is partly why in ended up a No.This was the front runner, but also the first one i actually tried on. Mum looked all emotional, sister was smiling like the Cheshire cat.  It was beautiful but when its main feature doesn't show up well, seems pointless. Oh that and (of course) it was double my budget. Fully double. I have expensive taste. I danced around in it a lot and my heart cried a little when i saw the price tag. 

And here's the wildcard. My sister saw it and i thought, fuck it why not. It has that Hayley Paige esq look about it, and there's no denying its the opposite of my first dress! I wanted to try different and this was certainly that. Imagine my surprise when i walk out and both their faces went a bit 

(Photo of dress removed just in case - but trust me its GORGEOUS )

And i also tried it on with this top that i adore, but at £250 for the top alone it wasn't meant to be (although i later found its rrp is £600!!)

So, having gone with the intention to get an idea of what i liked i definitely did. Turns out the dresses that are sleek and form fitting just don't rock it for me. 

I actually ended up buying this last dress, with a huge 70% saving and it doesn't need alterations (i just need to maintain what i can)

I feel a bit guilty bu i cant stop looking at pictures of it, and for the first time i got a real feel for the whole "look". I want to look at accessories and hairstyles and veils, whereas before i felt like i was doing it just to make the rest of it feel more comfortable and "me". 

Id really appreciate any opinions too! I feel like i'm shite at making decisions! 

So now i'm going to try and sell the first dress, which fills me with so much anxiety. I feel really sad to see it go, and when i went for the appointment i was actually feeling quite confident that it was the right dress and would be lovely, but trying on others made me realise how i should be feeling in it, and it just wasn't happening for me. 

I really really hop someone goes for it and can feel awesome in it, i'm only selling it for what it cost me which was a bargain anyway so here's hoping! If anyone has any tips on how to sell it let me know! I have adverts up everywhere at the moment 

Wedding addict

Not sure if it's just me but the images aren't showing up :(

Wedding addict

I agree with MrsT - the second one gives you an awesome waist. I love it.

Personally, I'd go hair up and a slightly softer veil, but given all this is pretty close to what I just chose on Saturday it's HUGELY biased by my experience!

I was also in between a more fitted lacey dress, and my chosen one. I went big partly because it's just a bit different, and so's your second one. So many brides seem to have had fitted and lacy in the last 5 or so years, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I want to stand out on my wedding day, and go for something just a little more unexpected. I think your second dress does that!

(I also definitely binned the fitted one because my mum told my sister (who told me afterwards) that my stomach stuck out in it. The big skirt hides ALL of that!! I need to be able to eat and drink at my wedding without worrying!)

And I am SO glad that the day went well! What a relief!

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/mrs-lytton-2019/485995.html