Planning

Long table layout - who goes at the “end”?

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Bridezilla

Discussing table layouts with my Fiancé (usually super laid back) and my Mum (Queen of the Opinion when it comes to this wedding it seems).... and I’m outnumbered on the topic of table layouts. 

I like the idea of a long table layout (so a head table with 2/3 long tables coming down from them - we also get married in Italy and this is more common at Italian weddings which I like. I figured if you sit somebody on the end middle seat (as a “head of the table” would be sat), nobody would be stuck for people to talk to as you talk to the people either side, opposite and diagonal. The person on the end would talk to the people on their left and right.

My Mum and fiancé are both less keen saying it isn’t nice to have to choose who goes at the end as they’ll feel less important, far away from the top table, won’t have as many people to talk to etc. I figure on a round table there are people who end up further away AND with their back to the top table anyway so it’s not really any different, you usually have to shout across the table for the person opposite to hear anyway don’t you?! I know I always tend to end up speaking mainly to the people either side of me.

How have other people made it work? Did you talk to the people at the end? Group certain people at the end (ie teens or work colleagues or people who were in their own friendship group already?). I can’t cope with the idea of table planning causing disagreements fourteen months out already...... 🙄

Our venue looks great with both setups and the food will be plated courses not sharing so not sure that affects the decision!

Bridezilla

We are having long tables. The furthest end will used to seat friends who maybe arnt as close with family being sat at the end nearest top table. You're only sat there for the meal then people move around so don't worry too much :)


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Bridezilla

I've been to 2 weddings where they had this set up and at both I was seated one seat away from the end, or right at the end (although there was no-one sitting ON the end, in the "head of the table" position).

I didn't mind it at all! I had H2B next to me and friends opposite. I think it's actually slightly easier to talk to more people with that set up than with round tables, as the people opposite you are closer.

In terms of who gets put there, both those weddings had family closer to the "top" and friends further away. I wasn't offended in the slightest. The bride and groom still did the rounds and chatted to people between courses, as they do at most weddings.

Wedding addict

We are having this set up (for 48 people) and are having two people at ends. Two of our guests are going to have very young babies so I think I’m going to put them on the ends. 

I wouldn’t mind being on the end, in fact I think I would love it! It would feel like I was head of the table and also I would have a good view of everything!

 

 

Bridezilla

being at the end of a long table is no different then being on the table at the back corner.  sumone has 2 sit there, and if their happy for u and surrounded by friends it shouldn't matter

Bridezilla

Thanks everyone - I think it’s fine and putting someone at the “head“ position gives them even more people to talk to and rounds the table off nicely! But my Mum thinks it looks like a more obvious hierarchy of who’s least important, which is ridiculous because if they weren’t important they wouldn’t be there! If she carries on she’ll be in that seat!! 

Bridezilla

Ashley72 wrote (see post):

Thanks everyone - I think it’s fine and putting someone at the “head“ position gives them even more people to talk to and rounds the table off nicely! But my Mum thinks it looks like a more obvious hierarchy of who’s least important, which is ridiculous because if they weren’t important they wouldn’t be there! If she carries on she’ll be in that seat!! 

Hahahaha love that comment! 

Bridezilla

Ashley72 wrote (see post):

Thanks everyone - I think it’s fine and putting someone at the “head“ position gives them even more people to talk to and rounds the table off nicely! But my Mum thinks it looks like a more obvious hierarchy of who’s least important, which is ridiculous because if they weren’t important they wouldn’t be there! If she carries on she’ll be in that seat!! 

Haha! But either way someone’s table is going to be further away! I don’t see why you would be anymore offended being “head of the table” to next to that person. Put your foot down, make the decision and stick to it. Everyone is there to celebrate and enjoy the day. I think we personally overthink the seating plan more than the guests do! 

Bridezilla

Lexi90 wrote (see post):
Ashley72 wrote (see post):

Thanks everyone - I think it’s fine and putting someone at the “head“ position gives them even more people to talk to and rounds the table off nicely! But my Mum thinks it looks like a more obvious hierarchy of who’s least important, which is ridiculous because if they weren’t important they wouldn’t be there! If she carries on she’ll be in that seat!! 

Haha! But either way someone’s table is going to be further away! I don’t see why you would be anymore offended being “head of the table” to next to that person. Put your foot down, make the decision and stick to it. Everyone is there to celebrate and enjoy the day. I think we personally overthink the seating plan more than the guests do! 

Exactly! End of a long table or back to the top/furthest away on a round table is pretty much the same I'd have thought. I also think you have less worry then over where to stick the odd couple who might not know anyone, they just go in the middle and it's less cliquey than having friendship groups on tables. I think I just need to tell my Mum everything is going to be a "surprise" and/or her way, and then do what I want in secret! I've told my fiance if he sides with my Mum on this, now, then she and her opinions are his responsibility to deal with for the next 14 months!!!

Bridezilla

Oh my god, I've also been having the round vs long tables argument with my future mother-in-law! It absolutely boggles the mind that people can have strong opinions about the shape of tables at someone else's wedding...

Bridezilla

we've decided not 2 talk 2 anyone about stuff like this, that way we avoid other people trying 2 impose their views on us!

Wedding addict

We are having this struggle just now. 

One long table for us and we are sitting in the centre of it. I’m not sure whether to mix sides or keep families together! 

Bridezilla

Can I just say, it's such a relief to see other people prefer long tables too! I was starting to doubt myself  I'd just always felt they're a bit more sociable and relaxed, and our wedding is outdoors so we want to steer clear of anything too formal and traditional.

Bridezilla

My venue doesn't have round tables. We are having a T shaped 'top table' then 3 more long tables which seat 12-18 people each. But people are sitting all round the table, we aren't just sitting one side of the table. I've been to a wedding at my venue before and it was fine.

I've felt more excluded being on the back round table furthest away from the top table like at my stepbrother's wedding, although even then I didn't really mind.

 

My planning thread: http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/town-centre-barn-wedding---august-2019/452338.html

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