Planning

Children at wedding - can I do this?

Reply

1 to 15 of 15 posts

Wedding addict

I know the children vs no children thing gets asked a lot on here, but I'm wondering whether it would be ok to only have children of immediate family invited, and no others?

how would you put that on an invitation?

The issue Im having is that we are having two flower girls (our nieces - my sisters daughter and h2b's sisters daughter) so obviously they are at the wedding. H2b's sister and also his brother are both having babies due the month before the wedding, so we need to allow these babies there as they are newborn and need breastfeeding and no one else can look after them. 

Lastly, h2b's other brother lives abroad and can only come if his 1 year old son is there 

therefore we will have 4 babies at the reception (one of the flower girls is going home after the church). I physically cannot fit anymore people into our wedding breakfast, and if a child needs a highchair it takes up a whole space at the table

our cousins have quite a few kids between them but we can't fit all of them in!! Would it be acceptable to say no kids to them? Or not because when they are at the reception they will see that our brother/sisters have their babies with them? 

has anyone else done this? 

Bridezilla

Yes perfectly acceptable.  Children are still people that need an invite to come to a wedding.  Spread by word of mouth that you are unable to invite non immediate family or non bridal party children.  

Just be prepared for a possible strop from some parents or for them not to be able to come if they can't get childcare.  It sounds like this may be a good thing anyway if you are really at capacity at the venue!  

http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-wedding-reports/our-castle-foody-boozy-wedding/442990.html

Wedding addict

Hi. Yes we are doing this, we are having a civil ceremony and only inviting our 2x nieces, one will be 4 years and the other 20 months, they are flower girls. We are also inviting our 2 nephews who will be 9 months. All the children are going in the evening as it's party time for the adults.

We have verbally told people who are guests and they have accepted it well and commented it will be nice to catch up without children pulling them in different directions. We wouldn't have the capacity to hold everybody if children were invited plus the expense.  None of our guests are expecting or will have little babies so we don't need to make any decision about breast feeding babies.  We also put a little note in our save the dates saying that we were unable to invite children outside of the wedding party which people also received about 11 months before the wedding date.Xx 

Bridezilla

We are only doing immediate family kids with our daughter, my little brother and h2b nieces and nephews but as this still equals 13 kids we are not inviting his cousins kids or friends kids


                                  My Planning Thread - 'Tis The Season to be Married

                                                                                                         


Bridezilla

We did this and just put 'apart from specific invitees,  unfortunately we are unable to accommodate children'. We have seen that on invites before, and there were no issues with it. 

Wedding addict

We have had the same issue. Mr.B has 15 cousins who have 2+ kids each. We worked out if we did invite all kids there would be more kids than adults. And with us having no kids of our own. We really didn't want them there. Apart from wedding party kids.  I started to tell everyone via word of mouth but also put a little note in the invites. It was a cute little poem I will try find it and post it on here for you. 

 We would love to give all our guests the opportunity to let their hair down and have a good time without having to worry about little eyes and ears so we politely request no children

Wedding addict

Thank you everyone, will have to put it in the invites and by word of mouth too. 

If our cousins bring their children and babies it will be an extra 14 people!

Wedding addict

MrsBell2Be2018 wrote (see post):

We have had the same issue. Mr.B has 15 cousins who have 2+ kids each. We worked out if we did invite all kids there would be more kids than adults. And with us having no kids of our own. We really didn't want them there. Apart from wedding party kids.  I started to tell everyone via word of mouth but also put a little note in the invites. It was a cute little poem I will try find it and post it on here for you. 

 We would love to give all our guests the opportunity to let their hair down and have a good time without having to worry about little eyes and ears so we politely request no children

 

Thanks for the poem that's a great way to word it x

Wedding addict

We have had wedding invites in the past that said "children of immediate family only". Whatever you do put on the invite, make sure it's very clear so that people know their children aren't invited, but aren't surprised to see the other children there on the day. 

New bride

I think you can definitely get away with what you’re suggesting. We’ve got my two nieces as flower girls and that’s all I want children wise. Like you, our cousins kids would significantly increase our numbers - but I also want it to be a grown up wedding. Having issues with the mother in law wanting to invite her (will be) 15 month old niece, but that’s a separate issue for now.

I plan on putting RSVP cards with a person/couples names on them making it clear that children aren’t invited. 

Most people I’ve spoken to with kids have been completely fine so it’s not something I’m too worried about! X

New bride

It’s your wedding and you can do whatever you want x

Bridezilla

We did this, we still had 10 children there from just immediate family, we didn’t put it on the invites, we just didn’t name children who weren’t invited. Nobody assumed otherwise or asked if their kids were invited.

Wedding addict

Thanks everyone for the helpful replies. Looks like the best bet is to only write the name of the parents on the invite, and then state on the invite that it is children of immediate family only, so will do this :) 

New bride

Careful with the term immediate family if it's cousins etc. A friend had this and 2 cousins didn't realise this meant just her brother and sisters kids!! I would just say the invite is for those named on the invite only due to restrictions on numbers. x

New bride

We have put something along the lines of... regrettably due to restrictions on venue size we are only able to accommodate children of immediate family. And then named the children specifically on the invite of those that we are inviting. Hopefully that works!  

Log in or Sign up to add your reply